DEAR Hekler and Koch,

Please stop making products like the MP7. I don’t live in Africa or the Balkans. I also have a legit job and no particular bloodlust. Therefore I don’t need your submachine gun. But after seeing the pictures of your product I have a bad craving for it. I think it’s beautiful and the ultimate accessory. To be honest, I arranged some clothes that would perfectly match with the MP7.
But I don’t think that, in these times, I can ever patrol the streets in my best wardrobe, the MP7 casually hanging on my shoulder.

Yours truly,

BN